7/6/08

The Anonymous Tough Guys on Campus

Type: Frat-Boy CHUD
CHUDitude: 3
Location of Outbreak: Juicy Campus, University of Florida "Overheard on Campus" Section
Description of Attack: Juicy Campus is an anonymous, collegiate rumor mill that represents the absolute dregs of the internet. The site maintains strict anonymity and C.H.U.D. Busters is unable to provide specific links to the javascript, but it is generally along the lines of outrageous gossip about which T.A. likes to bone on campus. However, typing "ROTC" into the search string, one posted rumor stands out from the University of Florida:

id you guys see that student who spat in some soldier's face while walking to class yesterday near Turlington It was seriously the most disrespectful thing I have ever seen, especially to someone who is serving our country. I was right there when it happened, and the soldier (I think he was ROTC or something because he was carrying a skateboard) was minding his own business and a random guy walked up to him, spat in his face, and told him to go die in Iraq.
This rumor seems a tad dubious, as those in uniform are not authorized to skateboard to and fro on campus. However, one of the replies represents a low-level C.H.U.D. attack:

No real soldier, sailor, or Marine would have taken that shit. If it was a Marine chances are he would have beaten the kid with the kids own books. The cadet (soldier) is a pussy for not doing anything about it. Kinda disgraceful that he didnt beat the shit out of him.

Yes, Chet, I'm sure if you were in uniform you would've already stomped that guy's ass, chopped off Osama Bin Laden's balls in Pakistan, and been back for the foam party with the Delta Phi chicks.

Prognosis: Mr. Anonymous cannot accept the fact that he is not the most "manly" on campus and must leave CHUD-like comments on the internet to confirm his alpha dog status. By humiliating those students in uniform, he engages in tribal like retribution to ensure that his frat house retains the "tough guy" status. Folks like him also tend to hypothesize Baron Munchhausen-style tales of bravery on the battlefield "If only there was a real war on" or "If they were in Iraq" instead of manning the keg at the rush party. These CHUDs on campus are a small sliver of the collegiate population and their attacks are very limited. Consider this CHUD outbreak contained.

2 comments:

Tin Ma'am said...

I bet I could kick his ass.

LT Nixon said...

Hehe. I bet you're much better looking too.