8/14/08

C.H.U.D. Presumed Extinct Located in Brooklyn!

Careful! Skinny-Jeaned Hipsters can Morph Into CHUDs at a Moment's Notice

Type: Trust Fund C.H.U.D.
CHUDitude: 8
Location of Outbreak: BushwickBK, Senior Editor Jeremy Sapienza
Description of Attack: Often, CHUDs can get so beat down by their counterparts that don't dwell in a sewer of filth, that they go into hiding for months and even years. Jeremy Sapienza wrote the following elegant eulogy for the 2000 KIA servicemember in Iraq back in 2005 at Project for the New Anarchist Century:

Well, it seems the 2000th slackjawed yokel/fresh-from-Chihuahua tomato-picker/"urban" slum-dweller baby-killer has finally bit it in Iraq. That's 2000 less future homeless junkie serial-killer rapist petty thief semi-crippled nutjobs to be subsidized/suffered by the productive people of these United States. To paraphrase the neocons: "Better to get them over there before they get us over here."

I have been saying for a while, the only good thing about wars is that they attract the most worthless illiterate dirtbag shitsack welfare-suckers to be scraped off the bottom of society's pot and flung away like the human trash they are to be erased from the gene pool in a foreign place.

His subtlety in CHUDology is not very apparent, and many in the blogosphere were not very thrilled with his violent outbursts. Jeremy was summarily booted off the already CHUD-riddled websites of Lew Rockwell and AntiWar.com and rarely heard of or seen since.

However, he has revitalized himself in 2008 as a hipster blogger in Brooklyn at BushwickBK, discussing such important issues in a time of war as blurry photos of Susan Sarandon walking the streets of New York, a new awning for a falafel shop, and the real estate market for douchey white people that would never talk to you because you don't listen to the White Stripes. Note to Mr. Sapienza: It's hard to hide behind your newfound beat, when the internet can provide a disturbing look into your online past.

Prognosis: Jeremy clearly has a view of an American ideal that can be found in the corners of the NYC burroughs, and everything else is simply "bullshit" to him. Consider that he refferred to his recent trip to Orlando as a town full of "hicks and spics", let that be a testament to his intolerant world. Servicemembers cannot exist in Jeremy's America, so he uses his limited pulpit to denigrate them in an attempt to make the country look like an old post from Stuff White People Like.

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