Heroic Seattle Mom Fights to End Occupation of Military Recruiters

With their scary uniforms and vehicles that may contain pamphlets with pictures of instruments of wars, it's no wonder that Seattle would want to be isolated from the reality of the modern Department of Defense. This Mom is no exception. From The Stranger:

"[The parks department had] been advertising a teen-appreciation day [with] basketball, swimming, a DJ, and a barbecue," Barker says. She says the woman who alerted her to the recruiters' presence "pulled up with her kids and saw two guys in army fatigues in a black Hummer. She wanted them to go away and they wouldn't." Barker says she's also heard of recruiters showing up to events with climbing walls and video games.

Apparently public property is acceptable for everyone except the military, perhaps because they aren't viewed as the public. Or perhaps because voluntary military service is a burden to over-worried mothers who can't stand to see the sight of military recruiters. Maybe it's time we bring back the draft.

Bonus:Funny letter to the editor regarding this subject. David E. from Tacoma is less than pleased with "commie-hippie" types invading the Puget Sound.

Geezer Baby Boomers Continue to Slam the Military After all these Years

Since hawking lugies on returning Vietnam vets in a fit of self-righteous indignation wasn't enough, some Baby Boomers continue to say nasty things about our Armed Forces. From Aging Hipsters (which Wek has referred implied as the worst blog of all time):

Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need more troops for some insane war that makes you poorer and the rich richer, ask your evangelicals. They have kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their children's caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq, and hope that the WMDs turn up eventually, but we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.

Insinuations that troops are only from the Red States is hurtful and inaccurate as it seeks to polarize our society. It should also be mentioned that Flower Power wouldn't make a very good defense policy in Nuevo California either, whatever the hell that's supposed to be.

Area Wuss Belittles Troops in Boston Globe

Steven Almond writes in an Op-Ed:

Perhaps the most insidious byproduct of the attacks of Sept. 11, 2001, has been a reflexive sanctification of the military. To put this in bumper stickerese: Support the Troops. Well, I have an ugly confession to make: I don't support the troops - at least not unconditionally. When somebody tells me they serve in the military, my first impulse isn't to say, "Thank you for your service!" like those insufferable chickenhawks on talk radio.

My first impulse is to say, "I'm sorry to hear that." Because I am. I'm sorry to know that the person I'm talking to might someday be maimed or killed on the job, or might someday kill someone else. Or refuel a plane that drops bombs on buildings.

His discourse is short on facts and heavy on "feelings" against the troops, which helps explains why one of the forums on his website is dedicated to pointing out perceived "bullies" (e.g. NASCAR fans, Fox News anchors, and other people who would wear an American Flag shirt without irony). It seems Mr. Almond hasn't recovered from the barrage of swirlies, wedgies, and laughter received during high school and is adopting a "jocks vs. nerds" mentality towards people in uniform. Repressed memories of the football team stuffing you in the locker isn't a good basis for foreign and military policy, but the Boston Globe doesn't see it that way and decided to run this bile. The Huffington Post has Steve Almond on staff and his postings are a series of creepy letters in the first-hand perspective addressed to Barack Obama. I wonder if he puts on lipstick and masturbates while writing these things due to psychological trauma. The Obama campaign should get the secret service involved.

William Arkin Just Can't Let Go Of The Past

Mr. Arkin Takes A Break From His Hectic Lifestyle in Vermont To CHUD it Up

Type: Mr. Van Driessen CHUD
CHUDitude: 4
Location of Outbreak: Washington Post, Planet War Forum (h/t This Ain't Hell)
Description of Attack: With Saddam's Regime completely dismantled, Al-Qaeda fleeing Mosul, and talk of the ability to significantly reduce combat coalition forces in Iraq, it can only be surmised that U.S. forces are fleeing Iraq like the Polish cavalry from the Nazi invaders. William Arkin postulates that the focus point of the election is how the presidential candidates attempt to preserve the faltering honor of our service members:

In fact both men are struggling with the same objective and reality: how to end the Iraq war favorably and without admitting defeat, and how to preserve the honor of the American military.

Despite Mr. Arkin's assertion that the U.S. military is in disgrace like the French at the Maginot Line, his CHUD attacks are much less severe and indirect than last year when he accused deployed soldiers of being self-centered ingrates.

Prognosis: New moments in history and the complexities in areas of conflict are difficult to analyze for CHUDs in the media that are already utilizing horribly outdated talking points. It's best to just recreate historical analogies for present events (like Nixonian withdrawal in Vietnam applied to Iraq as Jonn points out). Besides, getting laid was easier in those days, drugs and gas were cheaper, and William wasn't a balding, middle-aged bozo.

Because July 4th is a Great Time To Hate America

Careful, He's radioactive!

Type: The Mr. Van Driessen CHUD
CHUDitude: 7
Location of Outbreak: Progressive Magazine, Headline Article "Why I'm Not Patriotic"
Description of Attack: Madison's Progressive Magazine is like most run-of-the-mill socialist rags. It complains about how Obama is going to far to the center, it makes horrendously inaccurate predictions for Iraq, and it glorifies god-awful wuss musicians that "have a message". But, once in awhile, the coffee shops get shut down for a holiday and their inability to get their morning mocha latte sends them into a full-scale CHUD frenzy! The editor, Matthew Rothschild, talks about how horrible it is to live in our neo-colonialist empire on the 4th of July:

He has stripped patriotism to its vacuous essence: Love your country because it’s yours. If we stopped that arm from reflexively saluting and concerned ourselves more with “universal ideals” than with parochial ones, we’d be a lot better off. We wouldn’t be in Iraq, we wouldn’t have besmirched ourselves at Guantanamo, we wouldn’t be acting like some Argentinean junta that wages illegal wars and tortures people and disappears them into secret dungeons.

Ah yes, the pillars of military service in America: honor, courage, and orchestrating a coup in Buenos Aires. Mr. Rothschild, you are one sharp cookie!

Prognosis: Looking at Mr. Rothschild, one would assume he's a bit of a wuss that only gets upset when someone's pick-up truck blocks the bike lane. But, beware! These CHUDs pollute the minds of our impressionable youth in the lecture halls and streets of our public universities (like the University of Wisconsin at Madison). It's no secret that these embarrassing leftover CHUDs from the 60s don't like the military very much, and they will slip in commentary bashing our troops as long as they feel safe from reprisal (often in the form of "Fuck you, hippie" from the hard-working townsfolk). Any criticism toward their ilk will be construed as "death threats" from "right-wing hatemongers"as Mr. Rothschild points out today, or a possible Karl Rove conspiracy. So, tread lightly when observing this CHUD, my friends.